How I Got My Agent: The BLOG Post All Authors are Contractually Obligated to Write

I’ve been putting this off for a while, mostly because it’s my natural tendency to assume no one cares what I have to say. But I’ve heard from several people lately that they enjoy these posts & find them inspirational/helpful. So HERE WE GO.

My querying journey starts in fall 2018, with a now-shelved adult fantasy called Fleetfoot. I spent countless hours researching agents and creating a querying spreadsheet. Sadly for my uninformed ass, the MS was 180k words, and I found out far too late that that’s…not a thing. Not for debuts, anyway. I got precisely one partial request and dozens of form query rejections. It blew.

I felt fairly confident it was time to throw in the towel. Fleetfoot was the best book I could possibly write, the pinnacle of my abilities, and if agents hated it, well, clearly I wasn’t cut out for this. Time to give up.

That lasted approximately seven seconds. Then I had my next book idea. And I’d learned a lot from my last foray into querying: how to revise for trad pub, how to write a query, the appropriate length for adult SFF (hint: it’s not 180k). I wrote what I thought was a pretty solid, high-concept, marketable book, and my optimism levels were sky high. I started querying in April 2019.

Roughly six months later, all I had to show for it was a measly handful of requests and zero offers of rep.

It blew—again. But there were signs of improvement, too. More full requests, more personalized rejections. Slowly but surely, I was clawing my way towards progress.

Then, circa September ’19, a writer friend of mine asked in the group chat if anyone was applying for Pitch Wars. I vaguely knew about the Pitch Wars program, but as I’d never had a finished MS during the application period, I didn’t pay much attention. This year, I had my new book, complete and polished. Why not apply?

After an agonizing month of waiting, during which I lapsed back into smoking and definitely cried more than once for no reason, the mentees were announced. My name was on the list. Super surreal experience, by the way. My husband tells me I screamed like I was being stabbed when I read it, but I have no recollection of that. Also, I was at a Halloween party, and my costume was “slutty trash bag full of bones.” That was a weird night.

So for the next four months, I set querying aside and revised my book with the help of my brilliant mentors. It was now one thousand times better. Again, my confidence skyrocketed, and I knew for sure that this time, agents would notice me. The Pitch Wars showcase would be my Moment to Shine.

Care to guess how that went?

Truth be told, it could have been worse. I did manage a few agent requests. But as the days and weeks dragged by post-showcase, I got nothing back but more rejections. After all that work, nothing had changed. I remained the girl standing against the wall, waiting in vain for someone to ask her to dance.

In retrospect, it’s kind of hilarious. I gave it all of three weeks before throwing up my hands and declaring myself a lost cause. I see this ALL THE TIME with querying writers, and it’s a shame. Everything feels hopeless, but that can change in a matter of seconds. You never know when that email re: The Call might pop up in your inbox.

Which is exactly what happened to me in April 2020. One whole year and 75 rejections later, I got an offer of rep. I’ll be honest—I was numb more than anything. It wasn’t a euphoric experience, like I’d expected and dreamed. I just felt tired, ready to move on from this nightmare stage of my career. I wish I could have celebrated that moment more. But it can be hard to appreciate success in this industry, when you know that just around the bend, some greater horror awaits you.

I ended up with three offers of rep from three incredible agents. The one I ultimately went with actually requested my full prior to Pitch Wars. Very graciously, she waited as I revised the MS and pitched it in the showcase before offering on the new-and-improved version. I couldn’t understand how or why this was happening to me, but I wasn’t about to argue.

The moral of the story: I failed so, so many times. SO MANY. The only reason I’m writing this post right now instead of crying into my late-night sadness beer is because I kept going even after I gave up on myself. Most of the time, I didn’t believe I could do it, but I tried anyway. That’s the secret to publishing: the only way to lose is to stop playing.

I hope these ramblings have been useful to someone out there. If you take one thing away from this post, let it be this: always double check the ideal word count range for your genre and age category. Or maybe, don’t self-reject. But mostly the word count thing.

Best of luck, querying writers, and fingers crossed.